I've found myself at a standstill. Like I've been living all this time, but not really LIVING. Lately it feels like my whole life could be summed up as zero for twenty-one....and soon to be twenty-two. What exactly is the definition of life? I've never truly understood. All I've ever been told is that life is short. Well, that's completely obvious. I know it is, I know it's short, I know it could end any minute. We all superfluously state the fucking obvious. I want to know what it feels like to KNOW that you are living. When you begin to feel that rush, exhilaration and excitement over that one moment that changes it all. TABULA RASA.... we make our own lives, our past is our present, our present our future.

NON, JE NE REGRETTE RIEN. NON, JE NE REGRETTE RIEN. but, there is still that uncertainty that hangs in the air. DO I continue to wonder when I will be happy.... or do I just decide to dive in wholeheartedly? Know nature, know soul, know Him, know myself. If I'm positive that life, in fact, is short.... then I'm deciding to dive in with all that I have in me. I am done hesitating, I will be patient and at the same time revel in all my hours, in all of my energy. I'm going to give life MY ALL.... perhaps there are variations, perhaps any other person's perception of "MY ALL" may be different from mine - or, maybe the same. Perchance. Perhaps. Maybe. I can create what I feel I'm innately and ultimately destined for. I create my path, I create my own happiness, I can create who I want to be.

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